rejection does not exist if experience is the goal

tips on how to stop fearing rejection, and start embracing the experience the comes with it!!!

happy you’re here.

your fear of being a beginner is keeping you stuck in a life that is no longer serving you.

let 2026 be the year you finally let go of your fear of being seen trying. i know, being bad at something feels as vulnerable as confidently answering a question in your 4th grade history class, only to get it completely wrong (is this too niche?)

but, let me ask you this one thing, at the end of your life, would you rather die with the regret of never knowing what could’ve been, or with the experience of knowing you tried?

me personally? i’ll take the latter everytime.

of course, rejection never feels good. it is human to be disappointed when something doesn’t work out the way you hoped. maybe you were rejected from your top choice graduate program, or got turned down when you asked that person for their number, or maybe they decided to hire someone else for a position you really wanted. it sucks.

the goal of this essay is not to diminish the sting of rejection, but rather to help you reframe it and continue moving forward.

at this point, we’ve all heard the saying “rejection is redirection” and while yes, i love this quote, but it has gotten to a point that i’ve heard it so many times, it’s begun to lose meaning.

this quote to me is the same as the pile of clothes in your chair. a visual cue that used to catch your eye and remind you of the thing, but overtime, you eventually go blind to it. (this is because the brain is constantly in a state of energy optimization, so when the environment remains unchanged for a long period of time, it stops giving it attention. because attention is what? energy!!)

so i want to do you one better. i want to tell you the one thing that changed the way i view rejection, and ultimately, my life: rejection does not exist if experience is the goal.

walk with me on this one. i was rejected from my top choice graduate program, it sucked, a lot. BUT! i gained experience in the interview process for these types of programs, i learned how to write a tailored statement of purpose and resume, AND it forced me to take a step back and truly evaluate what i wanted out of this master’s degree. thus, making me realize that this initial program was not a good fit for me and my research goals!

this rejection granted me both experience and redirection.

i challenge you to stop where you are, just for a minute, and think about the last time you were rejected.

got it? great! that means you’re human!

now, answer the following questions (challenge yourself to come up with genuine, thoughtful answers! it will be hard at first but this is a muscle you have to train!):

1. what did this rejection teach me about myself?

2. what experience did i gain in the process of this rejection?

3. was this something i actually wanted? or was there some level of external obligation?

4. what did i succeed at in this process? (little wins, people!)

5. what would i do differently going forward?

these questions won’t immediately remove the sting of it, but i am hopeful that it will bring you a level of closure and peace.

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rejection is not a thing, if experience is the goal.

you can try to think your way into success, you can sit and ponder over everything that could go wrong, you can plan and wait and try to predict, but the only way to know is to start.

there is no “in another life”, all you have is this life, and it is happening, right now.

i hope this reminded you that you are human, and being rejected is simply just apart of the process. i hope this gives you the courage to not only stop fearing rejection, but start embracing it.

i would love to hear your recent rejections & the experience you gained from it in the comments below <3

Thanks for reading this edition of happy you’re here. I hope you loved reading it as much as I loved writing it!

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